Getting engaged the Jewish traditional way, Tena'im

I like love stories, especially if they are so nicely written or should I say nicely plotted and especially if they happen to your friends. In one of the projects that I have been managing at work, I have had a chance to meet and get to know a little bit one lady who is so good as a teacher and has a v good heart and quite compassionate. We also work well together and a few months ago, she dropped a bombshell on me. Well it was a bombshell for our project but not relly for me for I felt that her news is something wonderful. She told me how a year ago, she finally hooked up with this Jewish guy (she is Jewish too) who is based in Israel and who is a travel writer. I remember Angela (my team mate) and I felt so happy to hear that she will be getting married soon. She then invited us to her engagement party which happened last Sunday, 28 September 2008. Yes, on the same day that the whole of Singapore was getting ready to watch F1 grand prix race, I was at Hort Park multi purpose hall witnessing, together with about more than 100 other guests, the engagement of Rachel and Daniel. In Jewish they call it, Tena'im.

What I did not realize was how really so lovely their story. Apparently, Rachel and Daniel both went to Cornell University and had known each other back then in college. They have a common friend then who wanted them to date and hooked up. Alas, fate was not ready for that. So off they went their separate ways and for twenty years, they kept in touch not directly, but through this common friend of theirs who would always tell Rachel and Daniel separately what is happening with each one of them. Until a year ago when their paths crossed again at their common friend's wedding and they found themselves talking with each other and catching up on the twenty years they have not seen each other.

Then as fate wrote it, Rachel had an opportunity to go to Israel last year and wrote an email to Daniel asking him if he is free for coffee! The rest is their love story!

I was so enthralled when Rachel told this story in front of all of their guests last Sunday. The romantic in me was wishing my bao bei was with me that time so I can turn to him and lean back on him and hug him. Unfortunately, I could not even tell this story to him afterwards.




During the tena'im, the Rabbi who celebrated it was v good in that he explained, together with the lady who led in singing some Hebrew hymns, about the Jewish tradition of engagement or bethrothal. What made their tena'im quite special was when they presented what they have prepared as their marrigae vows and they wrote it like a mandala. Then they asked a bunch of friends to read their vows in both English and Hebrew. I thought that was the best part of their tena'im.

One of the other things I did not know was part of the Jewish tena'im was the breaking of a plate. According to the Rabbi, no one really knows how this became part of the tradition. And I liked what he said. He said before marriage, you should keep your eyes wide open but when you are married you should keep your eyes half closed. LOL!

To Rachel and Daniel, thank you for inviting me to be a witness to your tena'im. May you both be blessed with children v soon!